“This is the best job in the world, doggie!” McLeod said. “It doesn’t
pay much, but you’re outside and the boss can never look over your
shoulder – you’re underwater!”
We tied up to Running With
Scissors, a 41-foot yacht moored in the harbor. I dressed for battle:
wetsuit, hood, mask and fins. In my mouth: a regulator attached to an
air hose. In my hand: a scrubbing pad.
Underwater, I couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of bubbles made by my breathing. Visibility was poor, maybe 6 feet.
McLeod
told me to get the water line; I would work the perimeter of the boat,
from the water line to about 2 feet down. I started scrubbing.
There
was something very satisfying about cleaning boats. With each arm
stroke, I wiped away the algae and saw the boat’s hull shine again.
Propelled
by fins, I quickly scooted around the boat twice, making sure I hadn’t
missed a spot. And then I ventured deeper. As I swam underneath the
boat, I first fought panic; with a huge yacht above me, I felt trapped.
But I concentrated on the job and soon was overcome by a
strange sense of peacefulness. I grew hypnotized by the sound of my
breathing matching the rhythm of my strokes. No boss. No distractions.
Weightless in another world.
With the boat’s hull cleaned, I
slowly swam underwater to McLeod’s skiff, not wanting my job to end. As
I broke the surface, I took in a deep breath of fresh, salted air and
looked around: pelicans, seals, yachts, mansions, stand-up paddle
boarders, kayakers and fishermen in small boats. This was “a holiday at
the sea.”
On weekdays, I’ll still be “making mud pies in a
slum” as a journalist. But any weekend I can manage, I’ll be out in
Newport Harbor, working my part-time dream job. At least until Playboy
calls.